


Never Having Touched

by Benedicthiddleston



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Grief, Hurt No Comfort, Mission Gone Wrong, soul crushing angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 21:12:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17087822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benedicthiddleston/pseuds/Benedicthiddleston
Summary: The mission went sideways so quickly.





	Never Having Touched

Hot breath ghosted across Jack’s neck. _Too fast, too shallow._ He smoothed blond hair back from a sweaty forehead. _Not today, damn it, not today!_ Firm pressure on a gapping, flailing wound. The three-inch arrow had shot straight and true, piercing into an unprotected left side. The jaguar-tooth tipped arrow, a specialty of the local jungle natives, collapsed the left lung, more than likely nicked the left ventricle, and jammed itself firmly in Mac’s right lung, buried so deep in his chest cavity that there was no hope of removing it without surgical intervention. With exfil three miles south of their current location, there was no way they would make it in time to get adequate medical help, let alone surgery. _Wasn’t the deal supposed to be you go kaboom, I go kaboom_?! _This isn’t a bomb, Mac!_

In the time it had taken Jack to disarm and silence the two jungle natives who had attacked them, Mac had lost a good amount of blood. The pooling blood was slick as Jack took less than five seconds to assess his fallen partner, the realization hitting that this time there would be no miraculous save for Angus MacGyver. He didn’t attempt to move the younger man; instead, Jack knelt at Mac’s right side and bowed his head close, feeling hot breath, cold skin, and seeing wandering, untracking eyes.

Mac’s eyes were slits, blood gurgling in the back of his throat as he struggled to take an adequate breath. He tasted it more than felt it bubble up and past his lips. _Not good._ He felt a firm, rough hand on his side, a more gentle touch pushing back hair from his face. _Jack_.

“It’s gonna be okay, bud. Matty – Matty’ll get to us. She was on comms when –“ Jack felt emotion start to choke him. He couldn’t finish. Mac – _Mac_.

A bloody hand shook as it came up and grasped Jack’s right cheek. _I’m sorry_.

A strangled cry broke past Jack’s trembling lips. “Oh, God. I love you. So much. And I’m so sorry, Mac. Fuck, we should never –“

Mac’s index finger trailed down Jack’s nose in a gentle trace, trying to memorize the beautiful face by feeling as consciousness wavered. Weakness overcame his arm and he couldn’t keep up the action, muscles failing. A rough, calloused hand grasped his mid-fall, fresh and drying blood mixing between hot and cold, scarred and smooth fingers.

Jack gripped Mac’s hand, bringing it to his neck and pressing it into the hollow between chin and chest. There was no point in trying to stem the bleeding – Mac would die whether Jack did the right thing or the comforting thing. Another sob shook Jack’s chest, forehead dropping perceptively to touch his fallen comrades’. Their noses touched, Mac’s breath almost imperceptible. Both pairs of eyes were closed, the only sounds Jack’s held-back grief and the weakening sucking of lungs wounded and dying.   

There was one last huff of breath as Mac’s heart shuddered from the damage inflicted. Jack started to whisper his love over and over again, squeezing the limp hand with an inhumane strength.

“I will always love you. Please, don’t do this. Don’t leave me,” Jack whispered, even as Mac’s chest stopped struggling, his body sagged into the ground, and consciousness fled in a haze of black.

Grief came in waves. The first shock hit Jack square in the chest, tears cascading down his cheeks and dripping onto the silent form below him. Jack couldn’t breathe, a vice squeezing around his upper torso. He couldn’t scream, couldn’t think, couldn’t speak. _Mac’s gone. Gone. Just like that. Dead. No, no, no, no, no, no, no!!!!!_

The second shock came in a howling scream, Jack’s head thrown back as the sound echoed all around him, in him, surrounding him with a hot, suffocating hold.

He sobbed, his left hand continuing to gently stroke Mac’s blond hair, his right holding onto Mac’s lifeless hand as if a lifeline to what had just happened. Jack couldn’t let go – he couldn’t leave him. Couldn’t leave Mac to cross over alone.

The exfil team found them in that same position an hour later, Jack crouched over Mac’s quiet body, tears mixing with blood and sweat.

The team back home found out in a rush. And they were never the same. Jack – Jack was never the same.

**Author's Note:**

> No beta, proofread by me. All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Grief - my current exploration. Death and dying is also something I am very focused on currently. 2018 was a terrible year in terms of death - I work with cancer patients every day and saw so many die this year. It was tough. 
> 
> I seriously love the friendship between Jack and Mac, and as we move into 2019, I know we are gonna suffer a huge loss with Jack's exit. But Mac will survive, and we will survive because the show is so much more. It'll hurt - already does. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading. Sorry for the feels. Any kudos/comments are blessings. Love, Danielle.


End file.
